Thursday, December 15, 2011

Christmas Break

Yes! Finally I get to update my blog. I was suppose to update yesterday but I kept watching these Late Night Show videos on Youtube. Then I didn't notice the time it was almost 2am already . Anyway! on to my new post .

Tuesday. December 6, 2011

I had a doctor's appointment. Its been like... 5 years since the last time I did a general check up even though my papa has a medical insurance for me. I don't like going to the doctor because I'm scared of needles, injections, and mainly the pain that they're going to do to you. I did this so I don't have to do this when I go back to the Philippines next year. The college that I'm going to apply for might ask me for medical records. At least when they ask me for it, I would right away give it to them. At first the nurse checked my weight and height. She told me I was 100 lbs. and my height was 5" I know for sure I'm 5"1. The nurse was trollin' with me.. Yes, I'm that short but its okay. I already accepted my fate and short is cute haha! Anyway, the nurse left and told us to wait for the doctor. After an hour of waiting for her. She came and I don't even know what the doctor did to me. She used these stuff on me. She put something in my ear, put this light thingy on my eye, and she massaged my abdominal part then it was done. An hour of waiting for just that.. I thought we were done but she told us I have to get a blood test. !? !?. That was the part I thought I wouldn't have to do anymore. Sucks for me I have to. So we went to the other side of the hospital to get a blood test. It was my first time getting my blood check. My friends always tell me that it hurts and you can feel the blood getting sucked by those tubes that they inject on your vein. They would tell me that some nurses are so bad at doing it they miss your vein and they inject the needle again on your skin. So that image got stuck in me forever but actually it wasn't that bad. I mean, it did hurt. I felt the needle injected in me but I didn't really feel my blood getting sucked by the tube. Its like a really thin pencil stuck in your arm. I guess it was a good experience? At least the next time I do it again, I wouldn't be freaking out and telling the nurse, "I'm scared. " lol! oh and I didn't really look at it so I don't know what was happening when they were getting my blood. When it was done I saw A LOT of blood on the small tube. Let me show you a disgusting picture of it.. LOL! Just kidding. Just a picture of my arm that night:

The red dot was where they injected the needle.

I had a bruise on that part the next day. It wasn't a big bruise but it just looked dark. Now its okay, I don't feel the pain anymore. I was scared to touch that part cause I didn't know what kind of pain I was going to feel if I do it hahaha! and this is why I don't want to be in the Medical field.

Monday. December 12, 2011. 

Finals. I was kinda ready. I studied for my Reading. Not really for my Math but I know I can pass it because I already know how to do the problems. The only thing I was pissed that day was because of my alarm. The last day of school, that's when my alarm decided to be retarded. I woke up to my mom's call. I answered it and she told me that she was already outside waiting for me. I was like, !?. I had to rush myself to get ready. Stupid phone . I was late to my Reading class, but it was okay. The teacher just gave me the test and explained to me what to do. My teacher was Filipino so she was really nice to us hahaha. I even got to talk to her after class. She told me that she was a professor in University of Pampanga. She even suggested me that De La Salle St. Benilde was a good college for HRM but I'm not really going there. I don't think I can handle going to that school haha. Personal reasons . If you guys wondering where I am going for college next year, I am going to St. Paul University Manila. So anyone wanna hang out  you know just tell me haha! I love meeting new people. Anyway so my next one was Math. It was fun doing the test. I only hated the word problems. Good thing it was multiple questions, I just guessed some of the word problems. I'm thankful that I'm done with this semester. I'll just have to wait till next year again. I'm really excited. It will be my official start of my college life. Hopefully it turns out great. .

Thursday. December 15, 2011. today...

I've been feeling like crap lately. I guess I'm still heartbroken? Not really sure. I feel sad. To be honest I'm not okay but I'm trying to distract myself doing all these random things in my room so I won't feel sad or remember all the bad things that happened to me this past couple of weeks. I even did my nails lol!  I am so bored in this room seriously, you don't even know. I have nothing to do
lol! Awkward hand.
If we had an extra car I would drive around San Diego or go to the mall so I won't think about "it" too much. Its hard when you're just in your room, nothing to do. Just in front of your computer, staring at your facebook, refreshing the page to see new updates or go to tumblr check random posts. I am so sorry, I'm really an emotional person. Just too sensitive to these kind of things. Its really hard when you don't have someone to let out what you're feeling and that person would just understand everything, not telling you what to do or telling you that what your thinking is not right. You just want that person to understand you but I have no one. My brothers are in the Philippines, my cousins are far away from me. Its jsut me, alone in this stupid room. I only have my notebook, my computer/laptop, and my music to make me feel better. Sometimes I get artistic when I'm feeling depress lol. I know its weird but it makes me feel better.  I drew this last night or was it the day before yesterday? but yeah I drew this haha. The eyes looks weird. I hate drawing the eyes. Its so hard D: I think I did a good job with the hair. I wish my hair was like this lol.

Back to my feelings, It was hard to sleep last night. I hate crying at night, but if this is really the end I'll just have to go through this process till this feeling disappears in me. Hopefully move on from that person... but honestly.. I don't want to move on. I still love him. I don't understand why I'm like this. He did something that hurt me but I still love him. But I'm scared that he might have someone else already... I'm so bipolar I hate this. But this should be the right thing to do right?


Anonymous said...

Oh, so you decided to be a Paulinian! I don't know what their specialty course is, but I heard they're a good school nonetheless.

That' true. Colleges and universities ask for medical records so it's good that you already prepared yours.

Ay, curious though. Bakit nga ba dito ka sa Pinas mag-college?

alex said...

wow not going for 5 years? :O I totally understand you though, I hate going to docs for similar reasons but mainly because I hate how they touch you during check ups...I hate being touched lol

Ah, I used to really freaked about shots, still am. But I kinda sucked it up by just looking the other way when they are injecting me and try to think about other things. Trust me, it works!

Sorry to hear about your alarm! Gah, flaws in technology these days! Hahaha but glad your teacher was understanding. Hope ya did well onur finals :)

Stay strong girl! This sounds lame but heartbreak is necessary and it is only time and effor that will heal it but trust me, once you get through it you will be a much stronger, self-actualized, self-loving person. I recommend taking up as much hobbies as possible, get a job or volunteer work just to get busy and meet new people. Good luck, you can do it :)

ineedareplay said...

To Anonymous, lol! Who are you anyway? xD Anyway kasi we can't afford it here in America and it will take me years to get my main major because I didn't enroll right away in a University here. Saka ayokong mabaon kami sa utang kaya nag-decide kaming sa Pinas nalang ako mag-college. At least may kasama ako, kasi dito wala akong kasama and my dad doesn't want me to dorm here. My brothers are in PH. They can watch over me :)

Pam said...

Happy holidays! Enjoy your Christmas vacation!

Aww, 5 years? Isn't that a bit long but I understand you. I don't like visiting my doctors too and as much as possible, I stay away from hospitals. Hahaha!

Oooh, St. Paul Manila! My mom went there but not for college. Enjoy! Btw, if you're in Megamall, try Gong Cha milk tea. It's one of the best I've tasted. The one I blogged about is located at Robinson Galleria :)

alex said...

hey belleh :D sure i'd love to l/ex, you have a cute blog :) you'd link us as Alex & Joyce, or Joyce & Alex(doesn't matter lol!) Joyce is pretty awesome when you get to know her! we linked you up btw!

yep, we usually blog about fashion and makeup but this week i was swamped with finals and didn't have time to take any photos, so i decided to write a post on self-love instead hehe :D

Jessica said...

Haha doctors aren't scary! They make sure you're in good health :) And lol blood tests won't hurt unless you think they will, I dunno why your friends want to scare you.

Congrats on knowing where you want to go to college! (I'm not sure when you decided) Sometimes choosing which one you will attend is scary D:

Cute drawing :) The eyes are pretty :D

Maybe instead of just browsing facebook or tumblr, you can try a hobby? Like knitting or painting, etc. I think your brain will be focused on learning that it may distract, but maybe you don't need a distraction? Just do what makes you happy :D

The nail polish I got is supposed to be those cracking kinds, I dunno why they named it leopard nail polish and I finally put up a photo of them, but I don't think they turned out too good. I actually saw the imPRESS nails and I'm not sure how they are different from press-on nails? They seem the same, although it looks so convenient :D

Makeup brushes can get so expensive, it's so much better to practice on the cheap sets so you know what expensive ones you want and how use them ^^ I've been trying to figure it out from product reviews, but there's just too many brushes @.@

The oxygen peel from Missha is so good. I used it again and I really like the results, but I guess i have to see how well it works over the long term